Hold The Mayo!  (Unless You Have Private Insurance)

The big news this week swirls around the now Officially Failed horrible Republican “health care bill.”  A prime reason for its failure is that the GOP cannot scrape up enough warm bodies to pass it.  Prior to the recent defections of two more Senators, one of whom cannot support it because it’s too liberal, is the mysterious illness of Senator John McCain, R-AZ.

Mr. McCain, 81, is recovering from surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix, AZ, where he had a blood clot removed from somewhere in his skull.  “Above the eye,” is what the media says, but looking at the structures “above the eye,” I only see places in the skull: the frontal sinuses being the most proximal.  Why anyone would have a blood clot there will remain a mystery until someone reveals it.

But never mind that.  I want to talk about HOW John McCain got his surgery, at the age of 81, at the prestigious Mayo Clinic.  You see, I myself sought out an appointment there, for treatment of my badly mangled left wrist.  You know, the one that has been in a splint now for almost two years.  Mayo Clinic is really good at difficult cases, or so they say.  So I called their appointment desk.

The Mayo Clinic knows how to pick their front-end staff.  Extremely polite and professional in every way, including the part where, after expressing certainty that their world-class surgeons can fix you, they tell you sympathetically (yet firmly) that the Mayo Phoenix does not accept Medicare.  Do you, perhaps, have other insurance?  No?  Oh, here: If you don’t mind travelling, call the home office in Rochester, MN.  They do accept Medicare.

Except they don’t, really.  When I called them, they already had my information that the Phoenix people had forwarded on.  

“We don’t have any appointments,” the extremely firm appointment lady said.  Firmly.

“No appointments?  Into the future?  None at all?”

“None.”

“But I thought your hospital accepts Medicare.”

“We do.  We simply don’t.  Have.  Appointments.”

If John McCain had to rely on Medicare, like the vast majority of the older Americans he claims to represent rely on Medicare, he too would face the “No Appointments” dilemma.  But he’s a Public Servant.  And therefore he’s treated to the best of the best when it comes to health care and how to pay for it.  Carte blanche for them, no copays, no limits, no nothing.

I say let our elected officials–all of them–live with exactly what they dish out to the people they live off of.  After all, they live off of our tax dollars!  Why should they get the creme de la creme when I get the bum’s rush, simply because I’m old and not rolling around in the pork barrel?

Hold the Mayo, John.  And I wish you a full recovery, with plenty of time to think about how life would be if you weren’t rich and powerful.