I’ve been thrown out of two places in my life: a leather dyke bar in Provincetown, Massachusetts, because I wasn’t butch enough; and just tonight, the campground I’ve been staying in on and off since February.  My crime: complaining to the manager because my camp furniture had been removed from my campsite; and when they claimed they hadn’t removed them, then I reported my possessions as stolen.

Tonight as I came in to pay for my reservation, they informed me that I was no longer welcome because I had “made a scene.”


I don’t think asking to speak to the manager because one’s personal effects have disappeared really counts as “making a scene.”  Especially since this was the second time things of mine have “disappeared” at this campground.  The first time I also reported it, and got blank stares for an answer.  This time the blank stare treatment really got to me, because you’d think they would care if their paying customers were losing their camp furniture.  So I said I wanted to speak to the manager, who shrugged and said she didn’t know what had happened to my things.

I tried to think of other reasons they might want to get rid of me.  Maybe it’s because I always pick up after my dog.  Maybe it’s because I’m very quiet, am rarely seen aside from taking long walks with same dog, never play music except with headphones, and don’t make trouble except for when my zero gravity lounge chair and a whole load of laundry disappear.

It would have been nice if they hadn’t waited till I came in, after dark, to tell me I’ve been banned.  I had to scramble to find a place to park my van for the night.  It’s too late to go up to the forest, so I have to make do with the truck stop.  It’s usually OK to park overnight at Wal-Mart, but not here.  Fortunately there’s a truck stop an easy drive away.  Very, very noisy, but any port in a storm.  Time to break out the earplugs…

This is very inconvenient, at this particular moment in time, because I have to make my special oat matzahs for the Passover Seder tomorrow night.  I was planning to make them on my portable grill tomorrow morning.  Cooking in the truck stop parking lot is considered poor truck stop etiquette (!), so I will have to figure out something else.  Maybe one of the marijuana dispensaries will let me get my matzahs baked in their parking lot!  Just kidding.  Sort of.

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  1. Asking what happened to your stuff? What a rabble–rouser you are! Seriously, though, that really sucks. I can’t believe they tell you you’ve got to go after the sun went down, leaving you to sleep at a truck stop.

    • Yeah….I’m waiting for a couple of packages to arrive there, since I was planning to make that place my base of operations for a while. I have to wait till my packages are in my hands before all the travel and campground review sites hear about this. I don’t trust them not to “disappear” my packages….

  2. The world is surprising me with its callousness. I hope you find something better soon.


    • Thank you, Ashu. I was telling Atina as we drove off into the night, that clearly we were being rescued from something….only problem is, tonight is our (Jewish) festival of freedom and redemption, so I’d better find a place to sleep!

  3. f&^%heads!

  4. Loretta

     /  April 22, 2016

    I’m so worried about you and your sweetie-pup; I know you have battles on many fronts now, but if the mood strikes you it might be worth stopping at the local Law Enforcement “service” desk and filing a theft report. You might get some posessions back that way… and by booting you out, that lousy campground has behaved as if they were in cahoots with the thieves. One hears stories about Law Enforcement though, so a simple factual report might be all that you should report.
    I hope your health doesn’t worsen as a result of all this. I hope you are able to care for yourself and eat properly even when suffering like you are right now. All of this is said out of love; I wish I could help you somehow.

    • Thank you so, so much🌻🐝. I don’t want to get into a huge hassle with these people. I have no proof of anything. I think they just took my stuff as a way of harassing me, although I don’t know why. I think the best thing is just to count my blessings and find a better place to stay.

  5. Midwestern Plant Girl

     /  April 22, 2016

    Gaaa! WTF?!
    That place needs a crap review in 😲
    They could have at least told you in the am. Not expect you to pack up at night. What a-holes.
    I hope you got some sleep and found a place to bake your matzahs or at least bake yourself 😉

  6. Geeze Laura! I had no idea what a trouble-maker you were! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask questions when your things go missing? LOL
    I hope you find a good place. This just sucks. Here’s hoping Karma stops by and asks a question…..yowsa!

    • Yup yup yup! They clearly have done me done kind of favor by chucking me out…But what they have done to themselves, I don’t want to know. I only have one more interaction with them, which is when my packages are delivered, and I am very much hoping I actually get them, because these (whatever) are very slippery about making things disappear in a way that no-one can prove. After I get my dog’s prescription food and her meds, I get to go on to whatever’s next. The Universe will provide.

  7. I feel horrible about what happened. I do hope you were able to find a way to celebrate…
    But now I want to know the story about the bar? Is that wrong… ( I can’t control Alex )
    Much love, CC

    • Yup, I’m now parked in the lot of the Jewish Community Center in Flag. The rabbi here has made me welcome for all the events of the weekend, and even invited me to dinner with himself and the Rebbetzin tomorrow night! Very kind.

      So the bar incident…

      A female friend, with whom there was a mutual attraction but we didn’t want to ruin our friendship, if you know what I mean…so we were working at a shop in Provincetown for a summer, just on the weekends, so one night we snuck into the private beach at some snazzy hotel, went for a night swim, used the hotel’s bathhouse to shower, dress, and, for some reason, we put on makeup. I don’t even know why we had any makeup in the bag, but there you go.

      So we were all decked out, and there was this leather dyke bar that had a great DJ, so we went in and ordered drinks, and we’re headed for the dance floor and here comes the bouncer.

      “This isn’t your kind of place.”



      My friend, who is both tougher and funnier than I am, simpered,

      “OK, thir, but would you mind if we finish our drinkth?”

      So we did. Then we left, and amused ourselves chatting with the transvestites. We admired each other’s makeup, and all like that. They were good girls.

      So that’s it!

      • Well, I am very happy that you have found the perfect welcoming place for your weekend Laura..that sounds lovely…and yes very kind.
        And great story! Haha! And I do know what you mean. Thanks for sharing it.
        Much love xxx

  8. Sorry this happened to you. Almost makes me think someone on staff is helping themselves to people’s camping gear they like and not wanting anyone calling attention to it, but that’s just me speculating.

    • Thanks, Jenny. Yes, I’m convinced they are all in on it. They give you this blank stare and shrug. You’d think they’d express some concern, even if fake, but just no expression and no offer to look around and see if maybe someone thought I already left and forgot my things, you know, it happens. But nothing. So I’m totally sure it’s part of their “culture” either to rip things off, or to turn a blind eye to someone they know. That’s what I think.

  9. WOW! What a bunch of jerks. Are you living in your truck?

  10. Bummer. Horrible that they turned you away in the dark.

  11. You need tea tree oil for the bruises
    And as far as making a scene
    You were next in line
    For their anger
    Breath into it
    Can I come for Passover dinner
    I can’t remember the last time I had that Apple stuff
    Or some good chopped liver
    Some how I suddenly miss it
    God dam you Laura
    My tears have tears these days
    My pain is beyond 10
    My patience is through the roof
    I hate hurting
    It’s a full time job
    Uncle Dysfunctional

    • Dear Unk,

      I’m sorry you’re providing the salt water for the Seder that I tried to go to, but ended up leaving in a big hurry just after Kiddush…panic attack! Couldn’t deal with the 200 people all lining up to wash their hands…And already my tight wire nervous system is gearing up for the fact that the whole POINT of the Seder (besides telling the story of Leaving Egypt, which I do every year in one way or another) is to eat the ritual symbolic foods, especially MATZAH, and I didn’t have time to make my own gluten free oat Matzah, and I can’t eat the regular wheat ones….And the prospect of not eating Matzah at the Seder was too much for my soul, so I fled. A large part of me is disappointed that I didn’t stick it out, but since it was either leave or throw up, I had to follow my body’s instinct and bail.

      I’ve been invited to the rabbi’s for “second Seder” tonight, but I will not go. I can’t stand the thought of being asked millions of questions and having to talk. Somehow I’ve become allergic to these public Jewish offerings, as virtuous as they are.

      I’ll make you some Haroset. Ashkenazi, with apples and walnuts and sweet wine, and Mizrachi, with dates and almonds and honey.

      My favorite part of the Seder is the Hillel Sandwich: haroset, horseradish, and romaine lettuce between sheets of Matzah. Yum, crunch aaaaaaargh! More wine!

      I. Just. Need. To. Be. Home. In. Israel. For. Pesach. Period.

  12. oh well, eff those crude and crass thieves. That was not a scene. I hope that you soon find a suitable place to park and that you can make you special food.

  13. sandracharrondotcom

     /  April 27, 2016

    “Maybe one of the marijuana dispensaries will let me get my matzahs baked in their parking lot! Just kidding. Sort of.”…still giggling…
    And oh eeemm geeee, who takes someone else’s camping stuff? I’m so sorry you’re stuck out in this parking lot but you’re one tough cookie, I think you’ll find a way to make the matzahs baked…or you’ll get baked…just giggling…sort off… 🙂

  14. vevo777

     /  April 28, 2016

    you are well out of there, Dr. S.!
    Your fans are rooting for you😘🐕 and your faithful pup too!

  15. I agree, you are far better off being away from there.

    • Very true! I just wish I could get a handle on how other people think. I’ve just had a series of very Aspergerian bad experiences with other people, which have left me feeling shaky. I’m too old for this…


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