Tired Puppy


We had a big day today and both of us are beat.  However, if you look at the above photo you will see two squiggly lines.  The red one on the right points to Atina’s “squirrel.”  She has to have it in order to sleep.

The blue line on the left points to my foot.  She is using it for a pillow.  This means that I cannot move, or else I will wake up Sleeping Beauty and then what would happen?

What I want to know is why I get all excited about some new Bipolar management strategy that’s working, and immediately get rid of one of my drugs.  I do that frequently, and frequently pay the price.

For instance, I just started Clonidine for my blood pressure, and it has the side effect of relaxation.  I was getting over-sedated from the benzos I take plus the Clonidine, so I decided to start weaning on the benzos because I hate them anyway.

So after a couple of nights of half doses, last night I skipped the lorazepam entirely.

All well and good, I fell asleep just fine.  But it turns out the Clonidine has a very short duration of action, so I found myself irritability awake and looking for someone to kill at 4:30 in the morning.  Well, the only person I found at that time of the a.m. was me, so I lay in bed till it got light, and then I remembered that someone did me the favor of stealing all my camp furniture yesterday.  Kill!  Kill!!  But I had to wait till the office opened, so I guzzled coffee and planned my angle of attack.

It didn’t work any better than the last time I got robbed in that particular campground, which unfortunately has many advantages, which is why I stay there a lot. 

Last time, someone stole my one good pair of chinos and six pairs of blue Smartwool socks, only a couple of years old.  Fuck, fuck, fuck.  That was the find of a lifetime, Smartwool socks in the most lovely shade of blue.  I guess somebody else thought that too.

I told the incredibly rude cunt bitch fuckhead office person about it, and she just sneered at me, so I asked to see the manager, who was very nice and promised to look into it for me but I doubt she will.

I don’t know why, but the office staff all treat me like I have leprosy even though I’ve been paying to stay there intermittently since February.  I stay there when it’s really cold so I can plug in my little electric heater instead of using the propane furnace, which makes these unholy clicking noises all night.  I don’t think I do anything weirder than any of the other weird campers.  I don’t even allow myself to go around having a running conversation with myself like I normally do.  I think they’re all afraid of my dog, who wouldn’t even bite them unless they threatened me, which is one of the reasons I have her.  The other reason is that she’s sweet, sweet, sweet.  Maybe I’m creepy without knowing it.  Oh well, I’m paying them, and all they have to do is take my money, so I get to be myself.  But I miss my camp furniture and socks.

Tonight I’m in a way over my head expensive and chic campground that is far too near Sedona, which is why.  That’s OK though, because tomorrow I’m off to the Mogollon Rim.  I’ll explain more about that later.  I can’t look down to write anymore tonight.  My neck is killing me. 

Leave a comment


  1. I’m sorry your favorite socks got stolen. That sucks. How are you doing with your heart? Hope that it’s ok. sending you hugs

    • Thank you! The ticker is still ticking. Had like six tubes of blood drawn yesterday, EKG Thursday, plus more blood. Everything hurts, but I’m still moving so I guess that’s a sign of life!

  2. It’s time to do dumpster diving
    I bet you’ll find some chairs

    • True! I just have to find one that folds up small enough to fit in my tiny camper, and is incredibly comfortable, and that leans back so I can raise my legs and get rid of the swelling. That’s what was stolen, and I bought it for that purpose. So if I find one like that, I will be very happy….

  3. Midwestern Plant Girl

     /  April 19, 2016

    I’ve never had anything stolen while camping, however I pity the fool that tries. I would hunt them down.
    Atina is such a great friend for you! The photo of her with her squirrel is priceless. I’ve been there… allowing a body part to go numb, so I don’t wake a sleeping dog πŸ˜‰
    I have to go to GP Dr today about BP and etc. I want to try the BP drug Spironolactone as it is supposed to help with hormonal acne also. Might as well kill 2 birds… the lorstin (sp) side effect of coughing is a pain.
    I also have my first visit with a psychiatrist tmrw. It should be interesting…

    • Wow, can you please come over here and intimidate these bitches for me? I seem to have lost my edge.

      You know that Spironolactone is a diuretic, right? So make sure you have your pStyle http://www.thepstyle.com/?gclid=CKWtoNLxmswCFYaTfgod5pgE6g
      with you at all times πŸ˜€
      And I’m glad you managed to find a shrink who is taking new patients! A difficult feat. Now let’s hope s/he is a decent one!

      • Midwestern Plant Girl

         /  April 20, 2016

        Oh you’re funny (stand up and pee)!! My last Rx was supposedly a diuretic, although I do drink a lot, it didn’t seem to change my habits. She did give me that one and another. Gesh. Go in for 1 pill get 2. WTF.
        I didn’t have an issue finding a psych taking patients, it was finding a psychiatrist not a psychologist. Do you know… with the latter not having a med degree and not able to prescribe, how do they? Or do they? I didn’t want to take the chance that I couldn’t get a Rx and went the former. I think I’m getting wackier by the day. I think it’s perimenopause, but I’m rapidly unable to not cry at the slightest agitation. That makes my BP sore to 140/100. I’ve never been a crier and it’s maddening. Not happy its a man. I will give him a chance tho.
        I’m also even more evil in this state … I would have left sock bait out for the asshole thieves… AFTER I had thoroughly rubbed them in poison ivy!! 😈 Boom!

        • Hahahaha….poison ivy baited socks!!!!!

          Sorry you got the weepies. That sucks. Maybe it’s time to see the gyno and get some blood hormone levels checked? Oh weren’t you doing that anyway?

          Oh boy, an easy question! Psych-ologists have a Ph.D (they SHOULD have, if they call themselves psychologists), and psychiatrists have an M.D. Even though psychologists have a an undergrad degree, a Master’s, and a Ph.D., they can’t prescribe, while a PA who has a two year certificate can prescribe. Nurse Practitioners at least have a BSN and often many years of clinical experience, and they can prescribe. In my experience (unfortunately, long and bitter experience), NPs don’t have the education or experience in psychopharmacology that they would need in order to manage complex patients. They’re more like, here’s some Zoloft, come back in six months. My wonderful, wonderful shrink, who is a neuropsychiatrist double boarded in Neurology and Psychiatry, retired (argh!!!) and left his NP in charge. She lasted about a month and went screaming off into the wilderness. Guess she couldn’t stand his motley crew of crazies! He loved us, the crazier the better! Now I’m shrink-less. My current NP for general stuff took one look at my med list and had a panic attack.

          Good luck, let me know how it all goes!

          • Midwestern Plant Girl

             /  April 22, 2016

            Oops! Missed your reply here πŸ˜”
            I am having a brain fart, I will reply when I remember what he put me on. He also told me only 60% of folks respond to antidepressants.. I’ve tried so many with no results, I may be a 40%er. Figures!
            It was only my first visit and I have yet to get my blood test for whoremoans. (5/6) I am still basing my opinion on estrogen being my issue. All these other Dr’s want to treat the symptom I’m going to them for (head Dr = head, GP = BP…) but I need someone to treat the core issue… estrogen! I hope they don’t put me on testosterone. Good gods, I’d be writing this from prison ‘cuz someone pissed me of and I popped them off. 😠

            • Could you be bipolar? One of the cardinal signs of bipolar depression is that it does not respond to antidepressants, or even gets worse.

              I totally hear you on the “parts doctor” thing. What ever happened to the real GP who looked at the whole person? I’m so sick of running from this specialist to that one, only to be told that they only treat some esoteric thing that I don’t have.

              Please don’t deck anybody. I wouldn’t want to have to come visit you at the Cook County Jail Medical Center (although you’d probably get better care there…I know one of the docs) :-/

              • Midwestern Plant Girl

                 /  April 22, 2016

                I could clearly be bipolar. I think my swings are veeeeery long tho. We’ll see what the head doc says after these pills hopefully kick in. 5 years ago, I would have told you I just had anxiety. Like a duck, calm cool on top, paddling like crazy underneath =)
                I’m still thinking the estrogen is the culprit.
                Cook County click is a scary place! With my loud mouth, I’d be shanked in a day….

                • It’s actually not a bad place to be crazy. Their psych services are better than what we get “on the outside.” But yeah, I’d be in the hole within five minutes of arrival…sooooo we won’t do that πŸ˜€

  4. That totally sucks!

  5. Laura, so sorry for all your campground troubles! Glad to read you go on, and plan happy outings to counteract bad experiences! πŸ’› Elizabeth

  6. That’s so sucky that your stuff got nicked. B*ds. May the fleas from a thousand camels infect their pubic hair, and their arms be too short to scratch.

    Atina looks so sweet asleep like that, but it is a pain when one is pinned to the bed or chair or whatever.

    • Amen to your, uh, “blessing.” I don’t mind being pinned down except when my foot falls asleep! And like any baby, when Atina is asleep, she doesn’t wake up easily….

  7. Somehow I missed this post but had not deleted it. I found it as I scrolled down my email. Atina is such a sweetheart and the squirrel thing is too dang cute. I hope that you have since been able to replace the things that were stolen. The bastards! Now you know you can’t leave anything out of your sight or out of your camper. Brazen fools will steal anything including dirty clothes according to my son whose sweaty t-shirt was stolen at the gym where he used to work out. Hope you are feeling better now. I think if you often and wonder how you are managing..


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