suicide

bleached noise

I have controversial views about suicide. I make no apologies for that. Our views of suicide are as culturally determined as food taboos and table manners. Socialization has failed in my case, and not just on this issue.

I believe there is such a thing as a good suicide. Leaving survivors’ feelings aside for a moment, if a person has lived long enough to have accomplished something, is mature enough to know that she may very well feel different at a later time, but still wants to end her long-term suffering from a mental illness by giving her life back, I cannot fault her for that. I do not think it’s weak or shameful. I think it’s entirely understandable.

I have always assumed I would die by my own hand. After a couple failed attempts and hospitalizations in adolescence, I have managed to make it to adulthood, self medicating along…

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7 Comments

  1. The edge is so final
    Taking that last step
    For me was crying out for help
    I can walk in the fields
    I just can’t spend to much time there
    Life has been good to me
    Today I want to give back
    I know the helplessness
    I know the powerlessness
    I just can’t take what was given
    Sheldon

    Reply
  2. Blessings to you Laura

    Reply
  3. It’s like a deep breath to hear you say that… I have felt the same way, but whenever I express those things, people act like I’m totally nuts (and, being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I do feel crazy sometimes. I never know when my brain is speaking truth). Thanks for making me feel a little more understood.

    hazelhillboro.wordpress.com

    Reply
    • Hi Hazel. Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you found validation in this post. Suicide is such an incredibly taboo subject, and along with the stigma of mental illness, it’s easy to feel alone. That in itself contributes to so many premature suicides. Please feel free to communicate anytime. Just leave me a note on any of my posts and I’ll be with you as soon as I see it! Take good care❤

      Reply
  4. I can fully understand why someone would want to have the choice to end their life – with things like cancer and dementia in the world, people want to retain their dignity. Interestingly, the little research done shows that for the majority of people who are given permission to end their own lives (either by themselves or with assistance) will not actually take that course but choose to die as a result of their illness.

    We have so many resources to help people come into this world, and pregnant women are expected to have a birth plan, so why shouldn’t we also be allowed to create a death plan?

    Reply
    • I’m glad you understand.

      Yes, the data from Holland, Belgium, and Oregon, US, show that of the people who have been approved for assisted suicide, about 50% choose to continue living. Interviews with these people tell us that simply knowing they have the means to end their lives any time they choose, gives them the strength to go on living.

      I think the stigmatization of choosing the time of one’s own exit contributes to people wanting to, and following through with, ending their own lives. People who verbalize their desire to depart are often sectioned (involuntarily committed).

      In Belgium, finally severe mental illness is considered a valid reason to seek physician assisted suicide. It’s still controversial, but it’s possible to do, if certified by three psychiatrists. I myself would qualify, but when it’s my time, I will probably choose something one can do one’s self.

      I appreciate your understanding and support!

      Reply

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