Creepy, Crawly

Anyone want to come help me?  Yes?  I’ll send you my coordinates.

I’ve been gone from The Studio (as you certainly remember, I lived in my late dear Daddy-o’s ceramics studio, without plumbing, for four years, while he was in the process of dying in his house up the hill) since March 4th, and the spiders, as my son so eloquently said, “have set up shop in there.”

Have they ever!

When I first got in–my mother having had her handy man jimmy the lock since I hadn’t left her a key and she wanted to look at my mess, so the lock is now, uh, fucked up–all I could see, as far as the eye could see, were webs, with those charming little sticky balls containing future little baby spiders stuck up in them.

They were everywhere.  Everywhere.  I had to fight my way in with one of those disposable dusters on a long handle.  Ugh!

Think hobbits stuck in spider webs in Mirkwood.  That’s how many webs there were.  Good thing my poor relative, who has a phobia of spiders and their webs, was not there.  She vomits when she sees even a little thread left over from a web.  Imagine the mess!

It is fortunate that at this season, at this latitude, the female spiders have already eaten their paramours and laid their eggs away in spider egg-cases, tucked them to bed in special egg-case-webs, and died, died, died!

Now there are dead spiders everywhere. Ewww!  Had I returned even a month ago, I would have been greeted by 2,000 square feet of–ugh–live spiders!


Yes, I know they have a job to do, and they have been doing it very well, to judge by the piles of empty bug shells piled around the spider corpses.  Some of the bugs are fucking HUGE.  I don’t know what they are, and I have never seen them around here before, dead or alive.  The huge bug shells are lying next to the giant spider carcasses. EWWW!!!!

And the spiders themselves…ranged from the little bitty kind that I used to find in my bed when I lived there…to the horrid Brown Widow, whose bite contains a potent the enormous fleshy tarantula-like Wolf Spider, whose dried-up corpse is bigger than a quarter–ugh!   I’m sure there are some Brown Recluses among the remains–why not?  I’m very glad they’re all dead.

Well, almost all.

Even though I set off four bug-bombs that said they killed all types of spiders, I still found several little ones lurking under furniture when I moved it.  That makes me nervous about the larger pieces, like the enormous walnut breakfront and the smallish but very heavy chest of drawers, which I can’t move.

After filling up three large vacuum canisters with dead bugs and spiders and webs, I felt so sick that I had to repair to my camper van to avoid the fate of the above-named relative.  Tomorrow is another day.

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  1. Oh shudder! Oh, ugh, I’m so sorry.

    And now every time I’ve got a tickle, my imagination conjures a spider. Gah!!!

  2. Bless your heart! Considering every spider I see is either a brown recluse or black widow, I’d have died.

      • I should have been more clear–my husband claims they’re all harmless after he’s called in to take care of business, but in my mind/seeing them from a few feet away, they are brown recluses or black widows. 😛

        • Gotcha. So when you tell your husband to watch out for Black Widows and Brown Recluses, he says “pish tusch,” and goes about his business “like a man.” Have men never heard of reasonable caution? My son just offered to help me clean them up. I may very well take him up on it. He is quite aware of the whole poison spider thing, because he grew up partial in north central Ohio, which seems to have an overpopulation of poisonous insects, spiders, snakes, bees, mosquitoes, black flies….anyway since he grew up with that stuff it doesn’t freak him out, but he is very observant and never puts his hands in any place he can’t see.

          • Pretty much! There was the one time he agreed it did look like a recluse and I felt vindicated before realizing the implications and having a panic attack.

            I think I’d take up that offer!

  3. I had to read this through splayed finger! Gah!

  4. We have an overabundance of Black Widows lurking in hidden places here in Md. What I hate is that the spider webs/tendrils always seem to be face level, forcing me to carry a stick on our walks through the woods with me swinging at suspected sites and nothing at all. My phobia, which I acquired from my mother, is for snakes. Every one is a copperhead until proven otherwise. Kinda of anxiety – producing when you have a snake naïve puppy racing through the leaves and sticking her face into “interesting” places. Doc.

  5. woundstoseal

     /  October 20, 2015

    Oh no! Spiders make my girls scream as if they’re dying! I can’t imagine.

  6. Can stand roaches or mice
    I can live with most
    Laura I just wanted to come and see you
    To tell you thanks
    You’ve always have been there with encouragement and support
    As always Sheldon

  7. This whole experience of blogging has made me grow as a person
    I never thought how doors would open when I pushed
    It all been possible because of bloggers like yourself
    I owe the wp community all I have become
    As always Sheldon

  8. Don’t come visit me here in Whitby then. The Priory is full of spiders of varying sizes. You do kind of get used to them though, and I don’t freak out anywhere near like as much as I used to do when I see the larger ones. I still won’t pick them up with my bare hands, but I’m considerably less sensitive to them now.

    I hope that you’re successful in your de-spidering. Xxx

    • Eeeeww. Why would you want to pick them up with your bare hands? Some of those little buggers can deliver a nasty bite, even if they aren’t poisonous. There is one spider in the US, the Daddy Long Legs, that is totally benign, that I sometimes feed (they like fruit) and don’t mind if they crawl on me. The rest…Well, I am fair about my policy, and I inform them of it. “You are welcome to do your job and eat bugs, but if I see you, I kill you.” Pretty simple, isn’t it? And I think it’s fair. Win-win. Or, win-lose. Whatever. But I do think you ought to speak to the Prioress about investing in some bug bombs.


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