Yesterday morning my phone rang way too early. It was a friend who probably though I get up at a normal time for a human being; but I don’t.
You see, my meds last twelve hours, and I have to sleep them off if I want to be functional the next day.
More than that.
If I don’t get the right amount of sleep, I turn manic. Pretty simple, eh? Meds>sleep>functional. Not enough sleep (even with meds)>manic.
I needed to get up earlier than usual today, because there is a lot to do in preparation for Passover, and I needed a full day in which to do it. This can usually be engineered by taking my night-time meds early.
So I did.
But nothing happened. I didn’t get sleepy. Instead I started feeling wired.
I thought, maybe I actually forgot to take my meds. I looked in my pill box: tonight’s meds gone. So I did take them, after all.
So I did what my shrink tells me to do under those circumstances: I took an extra Seroquel. That usually knocks me down.
But not last night. May as well have taken a sugar pill.
I took another, and a milligram of Ativan to keep it company.
By the way, in case you’re wondering, I left an hour between doses, sufficient to feel the effects of the drugs.
I was getting very concerned by this time.
So I took yet another Seroquel, an Ativan, and another Ambien (those are in my usual bedtime hammer cocktail).
Not one fucking bit of “sleepy” coming my way.
So I got out of bed, where I had been passing the time by watching Betty Boop flicks on Youtube, and began doing my Passover chores, since it was clear that I was going to have a short and shit day. I got everything ready for cooking, chopped mountains of veggies, did all my prep work so all I would have to do is throw the brisket in the slow-cooker, throw the veggies on top, and not worry about it.
Finally the sledge-hammer anti-mania drugs took effect (oh for a few milligrams of Haldol, for quick knock-down) and I managed to get in bed before the blessed drugged sleep overcame me.
I still had to wake up earlier than usual this morning, to call the clinic and cancel my 11 am appointment for ER follow-up with my primary care doc. I woke to my alarm, made the call, and lay back down to go back to sleep for a couple hours, since I’d already done my prep work and had the time for a longer sleep.
Not gonna happen.
So I got up, feeling cross and speedy, and made my oat matzah (gluten free), singed the meat, sauteed the veggies, made a sauce, threw it all in the slow cooker and sat down to write this.
I really want a beer, but now they’re assur, forbidden, because of being made with yeast. Anything leavened is forbidden for one week. Damn. Oh well, maybe I’ll get up and clean.