I have HAD It With Stalkers!

I’ve HAD it.  HAD IT with lurkers from my past who read my blogs and either comment, knowing I will delete them (but I’ve fixed that now), or don’t comment and then private email me because they’ve figured out they’ve been blocked.  Or try to Facebook me, which results in my blocking them there too.  Don’t they GET it?  I don’t WANT certain people from my private life, whom I have already banned from my private life, stalking my blog.  I mean, didn’t I JUST write a post about that very thing???  You people from my private life (NOT my Bloggie Friends), get out of my blog and leave me alone.

One of the truly wonderfully comforting things about our welcoming and supportive community of bloggers here in this corner of the Blogosphere is that we choose each other, because we are people we want to share with.  We share deeply, honestly, openly.  It’s a world of trust that I don’t have “in real life,” so I really treasure it here.  We are “family of choice.”

I’ve considered doing a blogroll, but there are so many of you whose blogs I love that it would take much more sidebar space than is allotted to get you all in.  And that’s not even including those of you whom I read and don’t comment, usually late at night when my brain isn’t so functional anyway.  There, you see, I am a lurker too, I admit it 😉

What I’m trying to say here is that our ever-growing Bloggie Community, and especially our Mental Health bloggers, are my trusted family.  And I don’t want to have it in the back of my mind that some creepy person that I used to date, or some other people with whom I’ve gone No Contact, are reading my words–because in this blog, I don’t hold back.  It’s straight from the gut.  Yes, sometimes I write anecdotes or amusing stories for comic relief, but then I often follow those up with exactly what’s going down for me now.

And I really love and appreciate all of you amazing friends who support me with your wonderful comments.  It’s such a comfort to know that you are there, each and every one of you.  I wish we could have a party.  Hey, wouldn’t that be fun?  A bunch of us could all get on at the same time and hop from one person’s blog to another….I’m sure that’s not an original idea but it sounds good to me right now!

I’m slowly recovering from Thursday night’s attack of mania or whatever it was.  One of my shrink-o-matics thinks that I have nocturnal seizures.  I think I agree with him, at least this time, because after making some food for myself Friday afternoon, I fell into bed at 7 pm and slept until 12:30 Saturday afternoon.  And woke up with a headache that has lasted till now, Saturday evening.  I even put my carbon monoxide monitors into service, just in case, and they said zero so it’s not that.

Even now, I don’t feel like the sharpest knife in the drawer.  It might take a while to recover from that one.

So I think I’m going to wind up this day with our usual 5 minutes of obedience training (my dog Noga and I) followed by her Tooth Cleaning Treat, my Tooth Cleaning Ritual, a dose of Cod-Acamol, which is a wonderful Israeli concoction of 10 mg codeine and 500 mg acetominophen, just enough codeine to get a run-of-the-mill headache gone, and a large dose of Bedtime.

‘Night, y’all, and thanks for listening.

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31 Comments

  1. So sorry people are stalking you and wont leave you be. If you dont want them reading, then they should respect that and stop bothering you. Glad your recovering from the mania. Mania sucks doesnt it? Sleep well, XX

    Reply
    • Thank you so much…would you believe, one of the stalkers had the gall to private email me after reading this post, telling me that it’s all due to my PTSD (well, DUH! That DOES make me a little more sensitive to people climbing through the windows of my mind). I hope he read what I replied to his email and abides by it: “get out of my life and stay out.” Yes, mania sucks like hell. I’m still in that awful space where I feel like I’ve been knocked over the head with a 4″X4″ staggering around dumb as a box of rocks. Thanks, I am headed for the bed right this moment! xoxoxo

      Reply
  2. Haha that reminds me of the Egyptian Tramadol Acetominophen mix. We still do have more in common than we’d like to admit. Egyptians and Israelis I mean.

    Anyway, I’m sorry about the stalking, but you know what I think? Although I’m using a screen name, I have intentionally left traces that could make my blog easily found and….nothing. You see… I write with the intention that those who do find this blog are more than welcome to read it coz their efforts of finding it gets rewarded that way. The second thing is whatever I write, they are things that I’m willing to share with anyone. If I’d write things that are THAT extremely top secret kind of personal, I would make my blog completely anonymous. Maybe you should create another blog for the extra secret stuff?

    As for our little community, I keep inviting people for a little online get together on skype or tinychat but nobody ever likes the idea. Tell me what you think.

    Reply
    • Habibi, we have much more than narcotics mixed with acetaminophen in common. So much so, that I am sorely grieved. Too many stories of mutual kindness and brotherhood, too many stories of cruel inhumanity. As for me, I don’t let politics get in the way of friendship.

      I did blog anonymously for a couple of years and then decided to make the leap into “coming out” because it seems to help people to see that even doctors can crash and burn in the fires of mental illness.

      Laila tov
      L

      Reply
      • We shared a country one day too. I only find traces of that in some old novels I read or current novels depicting that period when the Egyptian Jewish were just friends with us just like the Egyptian Christians, who are currently also dwindling in numbers. Almost all my Christian friends have already fled the country. We keep wondering why the world is so intolerant against us while we do just the same thing to those different from us, or worse.

        Anyway… coming out is the right thing to do… it decriminalizes the whole thing and that’s a huge load off, don’t you think? You know, my doctor’s first piece of advice was keep it a secret like your life depends on it… he didn’t think of the fact that the pros of secrecy are not worth the cons.

        You’re great, Laura. Rock on 🙂

        Reply
        • Thanks, Amr (I really wish I knew your real name but I totally understand the reasons behind keeping a layer of anonymity). What a damaging thing for a doctor to say. As if we’re not already isolated. RE: Skype, Hangout, etc, I’m in. Just let me know when’s good for you and we can figure something out. RE Jews in Egypt: From 1492 when dear Queen Isabella threw us out of Spain, there were thousands of Jews living in Egypt, especially Cairo, where the famous rabbi, physician, and commentator on Jewish holy writings, Rabbi Moses Maimonides, set up his synagogue and study halls. Although Jews had dhimmi status, they were respected and integrated into the community. In the early part of the twentieth century nearly all Jews were expelled from Egypt, mostly to France but some to other Mediterranean countries, allowed only one suitcase apiece, and they had become very prosperous. Now there is only one Jew still living in Egypt. He takes care of what is left of Maimonides’ synagogue, and when he dies, that will be it.
          Sad, because the whole thing was just to further a political cause. So much is lost when people see each other as “a this” or “a that,” instead of “a fellow sojourner on the planet.” Sigh.

          Reply
          • Great. I’ll try to see who else is interested in a little get together. By the way, there are around 50 legal Jewish Egyptians left, I read an interview with their head recently. They said we are Egyptians and (miraculously) they said they still regard Egypt as their home and refuse to leave.

            Reply
            • Wow, I’m glad to hear that. We have, as you know, a looooooooong history with Egypt (about 3,500 years, more or less). Every week we read a portion of the Torah, and these past three weeks we have been reading the story of Josef (Joseph, Yusef) who was brought to Egypt as a slave, but as a result of interpreting Pharaoh’s dreams was made viceroy, and saved the entire region from seven years of drought. I have a non-Jewish Egyptologist friend who says that many Egyptologists think that Josef was Imhotep, based on his Egyptian name and ancient Egyptian documentation of the seven year drought and the viceroy who engineered the storage of food in anticipation of the famine and saved not only Egypt but Canaan and other nearby nations. So when the lovely Isabella threw the Jews out of Spain and Portugal, the Egyptians welcomed them because at that time there was a great cohesive relationship based on research into medicine, science, astronomy, alchemy, and the arts, as well as mysticism. So the Jews came to love Egypt and especially Cairo where Maimonides lived and taught. I am not surprised that the remaining Egyptian Jews don’t want to leave. Neither did the Coptic Christians.

              Reply
  3. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make your lurkers and stalkers go away! You deserve to have this blog be whatever you want it to be and it makes me incredibly sad that people from your life cannot respect that. Shame on you people out there! Laura, you are an amazing woman who touches so many lives in a positive way. I am glad to call you my friend. Peace to your heart

    Reply
  4. ‘msorry you’re being bothered by people ‘from your past and present’. It’s a pain in the keester to say the lest, but you seem to have it under control, evne if it is causing you a lot of angst at present. Please excuse my typing – I’m have an attack of thick fingers so I’m writing double dutch… love, prayers and healing sent to you Laura. Just remember we love you 🙂 Susan xxx

    Reply
  5. The relative safety factor of the mental health blogger community has definitely been one of those things that helps me get my thoughts out. I'm sad to hear people are being jerks.

    As for a blog roll, I made mine a separate set set of pages off of my menu bar. It keeps things tidy.

    Reply
    • You are so right about the safety factor. I think I might have “cleaned house” somewhat with my recent expression of ill-will toward people who make it unsafe for me. I realized when I “came out” that there would eventual come a time when this would happen, so I hope I can just get on with things from here on.
      Good idea to have pages for your blog roll! xo

      Reply
  6. Believe me, I’m no expert at this, but I’m thinking the stalkers might “enjoy” the effects they are having on you. If it’s at all possible to ignore their comments, emails, etc, then maybe they won’t get the reaction they want and will soon be on their way. Of course I don’t know if this is true, but it’s a thought………..wishing you well!

    Reply
    • Janet, you are RIGHT! Terrorists are only terrorists if you are afraid of them. I’m not afraid though, just pissed off, but you’re right. I think I have expressed my displeasure sufficiently that those who have a brain will use it, and I need to just get back to blogging and ignore everything else. Sending love xo

      Reply
  7. Be strong, strong, strong like the Amazon you are!

    Reply
  8. Laura, just stay strong, physically, mentally and emotionally. We all know what it’s like, so enjoy the sharing. I don’t blog at all, but everytime I read yours, I feel I am not alone.

    Reply
  9. Sorry to hear about the troubles with stalkers. They suck. I don’t get how people can feel comfortable intruding on someone that way knowing they’re unwelcome.

    Reply
  10. I am currently dealing with paranoia that some people I write about (usually unkindly) are reading or finding out about my blog. It’s probably just paranoia and I am not trying to let it get fixed. It’s very frustrating to have your safe place, violated by people who you make it clear to you do not want here.

    Reply
    • I hear you. It’s really hard to feel like you might be/are being invaded by unwanted people, especially when your blog is your outlet to write about people who have made your life unpleasant, to say the least.

      Reply
  11. Sorry to hear about your sTaLKeRs!! Hopefully, they are just annoying and not going to cross the line.
    I’ve had a few in my day. Going as far as vandalism of my parents home when I was younger. Sadly, this is why I’m very elusive on my blog. I don’t have my real name, photos or any other geographical info aside from ‘Northern Illinois’. Paranoid, maybe… But, considering I walked by one of my (hopefully) ex-stalkers last year (he didn’t recognize me) near my hometown, I still fear being recognized. He was just released from prison on man-slaughter charges because he beat his pregnant g-friend up and she lost the baby. I’d rather just keep my on-line info to a minimum.
    I was having problems loading WP this last weekend, but I sooo want to go check out your Banjo Pluckin’ ! =-) I’ll do it at home where I can jam out!! =-)

    Reply
    • Eek, real-life stalkers! And that one sounds like, I don’t even know how to say how scary! Yeah, I can see why you take the maximum anonymity precautions. I did for the first, oh, year and a half of my blog, but then decided to “come out” because I need to build a platform for my up-coming book, which I’m now not too sure of, wisdom-wise. Have fun with the banjo! I was just playing a little this afternoon. I broke my right wrist a couple of years ago, then had to have surgery because it frayed a tendon, and now it still swells up when I play 😦

      Reply
  12. There is an online blog starting called C4C that started for the holidays for lonely bloggers. They may keep it up, but an online blogging site would be really fun and a great idea.

    Reply

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