Oh, how I wish I was as excited about writing my NaNoWriMo novel as I am about every new blog post I write.

I have my characters.  I have my plot.  I have my story arc (I think).  So what’s the problem?

The problem is that I just don’t want to write this damn book.  OK, so don’t write it, you say.  Write a different book.  Don’t write this novel that takes five of the people you’ve known in your life who are all now dead, shake them up with real situations from your own life, and pour it into a dramatic tragedy that just never quits rolling.

Yes, it’s going to be a great book.  From moment one, dramatic scene after dramatic scene.  Emotion.  Action.  Mystery.  Tragedy.  Triumph over evil.

So what’s the problem?

Me.  I’m the problem.  The content of this book comes right out of my guts.  I’ve tried to write it before, and got pretty far along before I had to quit because my hands were shaking too hard to type.

I’m thinking I might use a dictation program this time.   I know that my “story voice” is very different when spoken than when written, but I’ve never tried it out on a long piece of fiction, so this might give me an opportunity.  And maybe it will give me that one degree of separation from the subject matter that will allow me to tell the story without freaking out in the middle of it.

Last year’s NaNoWriMo, I wrote something completely different, after trying to write this story the first two times.  Yes, I made it to 50,000 words, but that only got me my plot, character development, and story arc.  It’s going to take 80,000 words to tell this story right, I think.

I’d love to write it as a serial here, but I think that might be a problem for prospective publishers.

Ah well.  I guess I’d better start if I want to cross the finish line for the 4th year in a row.  Wish me luck.

Leave a comment


  1. so, end of night 3 and I have 1350 words. It’s not a book I want to write. I do but it’s about my life. each year I make the mistake of trying to make an interesting novel out of a piece of my life. the first year was my life story. bored me to tears. the second was a relationship with a twist on reality. It was ok but never opened it again after nov. 30th. third year was the story I really want to write. creative non-fiction. a fictionalized version of childhood abuse from an adult and a kidnapping etc. good book. wrote 50,000 words and barely made it out of act one (had not been a remake of script frenzy from the year before.) I finished 4 times. script frenzy three times. wish I was interested enough to write this year. how to write a hard novel when you are already depressed. Hope you have a better time than I am already having. be.

  2. Ugh, sounds like you’re up the same tree I am. Processing our traumatic lives via NaNo. Good thing they don’t charge for this!

    Guess what, I’ve managed to get a word count of ZERO so far by trying to learn Scrivener. Um, this isn’t working for me. Either I go back and write the damn drama, or chuck it all and write a satire on fairies in Wonderland. Hm.

    Good luck and try not to tear yourself up too much, unless you need to of course.

    My fairies are going to live on a diet of potato chips and ice cream. That’s what I would live on if I were a fairy.

  3. Midwestern Plant Girl

     /  November 4, 2013

    Good luck! I’m not ready to write 50,000 words just yet. Maybe next year! 🙂

    • Thanks! The way it’s going so far, I’m not ready to write 50,000 words either. Of course, I already write on the order of 2500 wds/day, what with blogging etc, so in reality it isn’t so hard. Just when you look at the number and arghh….actually it’s not even about the number, it’s about the subject matter, which I have already written in my head and it’s very traumatic so the idea of actually writing it freaks me out. Then again, if I wrote it down it would be out of my head and might make more room in there for other things. I’d better get it figured out soon….

  4. I like the dictation idea, and you are so good at it I am sure with all your years of medical dictation. I know you have given up on Nov, but don’t give up on getting it done. Just dictate for 15 minutes a day. Whatever comes to mind. It takes 30 days to develop a habit, although that is crap because it takes exactly one day to stop. I know because I developed several healthy habits (exercise daily, diet blah blah) over the years that lasted months then I let them go.

    • Good idea! I’m mostly trying to develop habits like putting papers away instead of just throwing them in a pile, as in: this pile to throw out, this pile important stuff…so I think I’ll cut my losses and try to organize my living space in such a way that it helps my brain to be more organized. Know what I mean?

      • Grr….I am a pile person too. I have 10 months of bills to file. Every week “file” goes on my to do list. Every week “file” is not crossed off. I am now freaked out about the pile to file. LOL…I feel an Ode of the Pile to File coming on….

        • Well, at least you have the intention to file them. I just pile them up and wait for them to become obsolete, then throw them away when (read: “if”) I get around to it. I need a husband who is good at this and also good to me and my dog, son, parents, etc…..if you see him around give him my email. OK?

  5. Wishing you luck, and blessings, on completing this novel. Be good to yourself while doing it…take lots of breaks, drink your favorite tea (or whatever), be in your most comfy clothes, etc. Maybe this will help to put you in a safe enough place to get it done. (((hugs))) and Peace to your heart

  6. Good Luck! A challenge too big for me I am afraid! 🙂


What's your take?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: