You Throw Like A Girl

Tom the Fiddler and I noodled around playing fiddle-and-banjo tunes in his shack overhanging the North Toe.  We each had one eye out the window, watching for Andy the Guitarist’s old brown Ford pickup.  This was odd.  Andy was never late for rehearsal.  Music was his numero dos passion.  His numero uno passion was raising his two fearsomely intelligent, accomplished, and assertive daughters, in partnership with his fearsomely intelligent, accomplished, and assertive wife.

Finally the dear old truck rolled into the yard.  Tom and I put our instruments down and walked out to greet Andy, who was moving uncharacteristically slowly.

He had his back to us, as he got his guitar out of the vehicle.  Then he turned around.

His nose, generally a bit on the petite side, was first of all smooshed all over his face.  You really couldn’t tell where it began or where it ended, it was squashed so flat.  Then there were the two black eyes and the split lip.   Regardless of all this, he was grinning like a possum.

“Andy!  What the hell happened to your face!?”  Tom and I shouted in unison.

“Olivia happened to my face,” said Andy, grinning wider.

Olivia is his younger daughter.  She is a fast-pitch softball star.  She goes to fast-pitch camp every year.  At age 11, she was feared by every team in the region.

“The catcher was sick today, so I stood in.  Or rather, my nose stood out.  She lobbed one over and I was sure the batter was going to hit it, but she struck, and I didn’t have my mitt up, and, well….as you see….”  We stood around him nodding gravely.  We saw.  “Sorry I’m late,” he added, heading to the shack with his axe in hand.

“That’s OK.  I’m amazed they let you out of the emergency room so fast, though.  Was the ENT already there?” said practical Dr. Laura.

“Hell no, I haven’t been to the ER.  I can’t be late for practice.  I’ll let my wife the nurse practitioner deal with it when I get home.  The reason I’m late is that the ball knocked me out cold and it took awhile for me to come around, what with cold water on the face and ice bags, all that stuff.  I finally got right enough to drive, and high-tailed it over here.  Good thing I didn’t get a ticket to boot.  I have never been known to miss a rehearsal.”

Tom and I looked at each other and shrugged, and we headed into the shack and rehearsed same as usual.  We had a gig coming up, so we had to be on top of our game.  After we finished up, and Andy was putting his guitar back in its case, something struck me like a fast-ball.

Olivia!  How must she be feeling, having knocked her dad out and smashed his face into mush???

“Andy,” I asked anxiously, “What about Olivia?  She must be awfully shook up about this.”

Andy shrugged.  “Yeah, she was.  She does feel mighty bad about it.  She was crying when I came around after being knocked out, but you know what?  As soon as I could stand up I gave her a big hug, put my arm around her and said, “That’s the ticket, kiddo.  You throw like a girl!”

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  1. Love this, Laura, especially the line “something struck me like a fast-ball.” I love the compassion Olivia had for her father. in my own selfish way, I would have been embarrassed and upset with my dad if he caused this scene. Guess that is why I need to work on compassion.
    You are such a wonderful storyteller. When are you going to publish a book? {{{hugs]}} Kozo

    • Thanks so much, Kozo. Olivia actually felt horrible that she had hurt her dad, and had to go to counseling. Andy was just proud of her for doing what she loved to do best. Andy is a soft, sweet guy who cries if he needs to. Olivia also cries if she needs to, although she can be tough as nails and stubborn as a rock. Gender-based expectations often cross gender lines, which can cause great confusion unless everybody flows with it.

      As for the book: my memoir, A Runaway Life, is up to 100,000 words and not anywhere near finished. And it only covers a seven month piece of my life! Surgical revision will be required, I think. If you want to read some snippets of it, you’re invited over to my “other blog,” A Runaway Life: Story of a Teenage Runaway. Thanks for hanging in with me: it takes a lot of courage and character to hang with someone who looks like she might just eat you alive…;-)

  2. I laughed out loud! When I was young, I was on a few mixed gender sports teams. When the guys on my team were taunted with a “like a girl” comment, they would give a huge smile and yell back, “thanks!” The hecklers never knew what to do with that!

    Hope Andy and Olivia are doing fine. 🙂

  3. Love the story – life in the fast lane! Hope Andy is doing well.

    • Thanks! Andy had his nose reconstructed the next day. He came home with his nose looking exactly like Bozo the Clown! So I did a nifty little acupuncture trick that I hoped would work–while his nurse practitioner wife stood by with arms folder, snorting every once in a while–and by gum, you could SEE his nose getting normal again–the swelling dissipated before our eyes. Old Andrew’s nose was back.

  4. So here are the rules that go with this award:

    The Liebster Award Rules:

    1. You must link back to the person who nominated you.
    2. You must answer the 10 Liebster questions given to you by the nominee before you.
    3. You must pick 10 bloggers to be nominated for the award, whose blogs have fewer than 200 followers.
    4. You must provide 10 questions for your nominees to answer.
    5. You must visit their blogs and notify your nominees.

    Here are the nominees I’ve chosen: BTW – if I broke the rules and you have more than 200 followers you can just ignore this. I couldn’t find the number of followers on your site.

    • Thank you so much! I very much appreciate the award. I hope you will forgive me if it takes me a while to get all of this done, as I’m over-the-top busy and stressed right now. Many thanks for thinking of me…….!

  5. AAAWWWW…Great Story! That’s why I love coming to your Blog! I learn, and be entertained all at the same time!…LOL..*Catherine* 🙂 “-)


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