They’re at it again tonight. I can’t quite tell if it’s a Cajun band or some kind of carnival music, but it’s there, distant, but constant, like a party going on a couple of blocks away. Only there’s no such band, except in my brain. I hear music when there isn’t any.
My shrink thinks it’s definitely an auditory hallucination-type phenomenon. I can’t disagree.
I think it’s related to the random phrases of music that I often hear, usually one or two measures in 4/4 metre that repeat themselves endlessly, populating my temporal lobes with maddening frequency. They’re not phrases from tunes I know or have recently heard, just randomly-generated sequences, and not heard on any particular musical instrument or voice. I keep thinking I ought to write them down or record them, and maybe at some point they might meld into some sensible piece of music.
But tonight it’s the gypsies playing in the background, far away.
I think it might be related to the fact that I cut my Seroquel dose in half a few days ago, because it was affecting my balance, my speech, my thinking….in effect, I was over-medicated. So I guess if I have to choose between distant calliopes and stumbling idiocy, I’ll take the former. But I must say, it’s annoying as hell.
If I do something to create “white noise,” then that gets turned into phantom music as well. Ear plugs? Nah. Just makes it louder, as if it’s trapping the music inside my head.
The only thing that helps is to put on some other music. Sometimes I put a long playlist on my iPod on “repeat” and leave it on all night. That does help me sleep. I’ll do that now.
Oh, brain, brain, why do you misbehave so?