Important Announcement

Dear Readers,

At last I find my courage has flagged, as I am in close proximity to the one who abused me from infancy and continues to do so until this day. I am terrified that she will Google me and find this blog, or that some well-meaning friend or relative will “out” me, and I will have hell to pay.

I have abandoned the use of my own name in favor of the pseudonym Soul Survivor, which although I don’t think it’s terribly original, does speak to my inner feeling of the constant struggle to survive when one’s self image has been constantly and systematically crushed by emotional abuse, followed by the trauma and humiliation of rape and sex trade.

I’m sorry that I won’t be able to post under my professional name, which has given more than a few people hope that they can succeed in a profession even though they have been abused or involved in the sex trade in some way. It’s just too much for me right now. Maybe at some point I’ll have the courage, or circumstances will allow me to go back to my own name. But for now there’s only so much stress I can take.

And so, dear readers, from now on I am Soul Survivor. May we all be protected from fear and loathing.

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10 Comments

  1. D'Alta

     /  October 22, 2012

    We do what we need to do to get out messages of hope and survival.

    Reply
  2. I do understand the concern – not in the same fashion, exactly, but you know.

    Reply
  3. There are times we can be transparent to those around us and times we must remain hidden. Although you must hide your name, your transparency otherwise will still bring hope to the rest of us.

    Reply
    • Thank you, that is so kind. Makes me feel a bit better about the whole thing. By the way, how do you fix it so that WP does not display your email under your Gravitar? Do you have to go to Gravitar to remove it? Thanks, and be well!

      Reply
      • Hmmm…I am not exactly sure what you mean. On gravatar, I have a public email (not my primary personal email) that is named after my pseudonym. But in Gravatar, you can go into your profile and make sure there are no ways to contact you. As for WP, I assume that you can go into your profile on your blog and hide your email. I might have done so since I changed emails from my personal email to the public email directly associated with this name.

        And I do agree that there are times when a pseudonym is necessary. I was stalked in college, so I started using an alias while I was in college and all the chat stuff was new-ish. Now I continue doing so because I write erotica and my blog, none of which do my bosses or future employers need to see.

        For me, I am transparent with family and friends that I trust. But that has to do with the fact that they all treat me well and know when to say something and when not to. If you need to be safe, do it!

        Reply
  4. A pseudonym is safe. No worries. We want you to feel safe while blogging.

    And you are a survivor. Great name!

    Reply
    • Thanks, Lulu. My motto is “Keep on keepin’ on.” That is what it’s come down to, so that’s where my work in life is right now: being a survivor, not letting go. Take good care, be well!

      Reply
  5. We still love you and respect you even if you choose to write under a pseudonym. I write under one myself for somewhat similar reasons. I don’t want my friends or family to know and I don’t want it to be found for professional reasons. Regardless of the the reason, it’s OK for you to write under a pseudonym. You’re still an inspiration to us all.

    Reply

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