Out in the Ozone

Dearest readers, you may have noticed that it’s been a while since my last post.  I feel like I’ve really dropped the ball.
The cause of my sudden silence cannot be revealed at this time.  “All in good time, my pretties, all in good time,” as my evil cousin the Wicked Witch of the West would say.
What I can tell you is that I normally labor to keep my environment under tight control, the better to manage my disease.  Lately this has become impossible, and while the perturbing principle is actually a very pleasant one, it remains nevertheless a perturbation of the steady state equilibrium I work so hard to maintain.
I find myself constantly teetering on the brink ofhypomania, or worse, the dreaded “mixed state.”  I have had to take additional doses of the hated Seroquel.  It does abort the incipient madness, but at such a price….
Apart from its intrinsic goodness, I think the current state of events is beneficial in that it is forcing me to step outside my very well trodden comfort zone, which has served me well for years, but had become something of a prison of late.
It remains to be seen how this new tightrope walk will evolve.  One thing I do know:  this time, I’m not working without a net–and my 360 is well covered.

Copyright 2012 Laura P. Schulman all rights reserved

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2 Comments

  1. bpshielsy

     /  April 5, 2012

    Glad to hear you’re breaking free from your cell.

    Also please stop calling bipolar a disease or you’ll make my bottom lip jut out even more 🙂

    I now just think of it as part of who I am. Yeah it’s got its obvious downsides, but, for me anyway, it has given me a much better insight into other people & helped me form better/closer bonds with people. This is mainly down to the counselling & personal development I’ve gone through, but I suppose without the bipolar I wouldn’t have done those things.

    Sorry lecture / rant over

    Reply
  2. Sweet Laura, any kind of change can be confounding (but obviously you know that). If you ever want someone to talk with privately, or even just talk about nothing with, know that I am here, wanting to hear from my friend (and yes, I know I’m not always the best about keeping up my end on reaching out!).

    Love to you ~

    Reply

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