In The “Needs To Work Out More” File

Alleged burglar attempts to flee Tucson school, pants caught on spiked fence

http://www.abc15.com/news/region-central-southern-az/tucson/alleged-burglar-attempts-to-flee-tucson-school-pants-caught-on-spiked-fence

Watch “10 things you didn’t know about orgasm | Mary Roach” on YouTube

Well, maybe you did know one or two.  But really, this is very entertaining!  Orgasm trivia.  Have fun!

Snoop Dogg’s controversial new music video gets attention of President Trump

http://www.thecannabist.co/2017/03/16/snoop-dogg-trump-video-gun-marijuana/75673/?obref=obinsite

You really need to just click on over and watch the video, then read the accompanying article, then watch the video again.  It is just so right on.  I have nothing more to say.

Johnna Stahl’s Blog Memorial

Memorial for Johnna Stahl, aka painkills2 of All Things Chronic, is happening NOW. Click on the original post and stop by to read, watch, and listen to tributes to our dear Johnna, and to leave one of your own, if you wish.

Life of an El Paso Woman

Hi everyone. Today we celebrate our fellow blogger and friend Johnna Stahl’s life. Johnna’s loved ones held a memorial for her Friday in Houston. Johnna’s sister, Mary shared this beautiful video of Johnna’s photography and memorial with me. She asked me to share it with the blogging community. Please feel free to share any memories you have of Johnna aka painkills2 from the All Things Chronic blog in the comments. Feel free to also share poems, quotes, music and/or general comments. Johnna will be missed by many.

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I’m so glad I had the pleasure of meeting her last July in Albuquerque. She was very nice and fun to talk to in person and via e-mail. Johnna was a huge supporter of my blog and writing career. She encouraged me to start writing my book and continue freelance writing after a five-year break. Although I haven’t finished the book yet, I intend to finish it later this year or in early…

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Too Damned Hot Already!

95°F=35°C= too damned hot for the month of March, even in Southern Arizona.  But wait, “there’s no such thing as climate change.”  That must mean that it’s now normal to have temperatures >15 degrees above normal, in a sustained fashion, two years in a row.  OK, I’ll try to squeeze yet one more incongruity the size of Texas into my pea-sized brain.  

For reasons that are well explained by Ayurveda, my tongue got the word about the heat wave first:

That thing that looks like a small liver on the underside of my tongue is an aphthous ulcer.  It’s the classic “punched out” kind.  Makes me feel pretty damned punched out, let me tell you.

That was a few days ago.  The ulcer kind of propagated into the back of my mouth and throat.  I’ve been literally living on aloe vera juice and coconut water, which I leave in the freezer and sip on.

It occurred to me that this was rather more ulcer-ness than I’m used to.  I get them every few weeks or months.  A Crohn’s thing, you know: it’s a “mouth-to-anus” disease.  Meaning that, lesions can occur anywhere in there.  And do.  

My brain survives and at times even thrives, by continuously scanning for outliers.  That’s how the prey animal survives.  That ripple in the tall grass that wasn’t there earlier?  Lion.  That shadow in the water?  Crocodile.  

Those bizarre mouth ulcers?  Could be just the ol’ Crohn’s monsters.

And on the other hand…there’s lamotrigine (Lamictal®).

Ever since I landed in the hospital in 2001, and ever since the amateur psychiatrist who tried to kill me with every antidepressant under the sun nearly succeeded, and ever since she thankfully went on vacation and left her on-call beeper with the brilliant neuropsychiatrist who correctly identified my brain as bipolar, I have faithfully taken my “L&L cocktail” every day.  Lamictal in the morning, lithium at night.

It’s worked better than anything else.  It’s been my staple.

There’s a problem, though.  It’s been a theoretical problem, till now.

Lamotrigine has one major potential adverse reaction.  It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it can be devastating.  It’s called Stevens-Johnson Syndrome.  (The linked article downplays what the syndrome really looks like….)  It’s a known and much-feared adverse event that’s associated with Lamictal.  That’s the reason for the very slow dose buildup, if you’ve ever taken it, and the huge black box warning that says if you ever get these nasty lesions, stop taking Lamictal immediately.

My tongue up and turned completely white, then started peeling.  I put my Lamictal away.  Increased the lithium dose by 25%, got out some high CBD cannabis to help with the transition.

If you take medicine for brain stuff, you just naturally deal with side effects.  How not?  Most of this shit we dump into our bodies, no one has any clue what they actually do, outside of the one thing they have to look at for the studies.  Beyond showing that this does or does not increase dopamine levels in the brain, for instance, researchers are not able to predict every single one of the thousands of other chemical interactions a medicine may set into motion all around the body.

Fortunately most side effects are merely unpleasant but not life-threatening.  Stevens-Johnson is extremely unpleasant and also life-threatening.  You just don’t want it!

Lithium has its bad side too: kidney failure holds down the position of real bad actor.  But lithium won’t kill you today.  It might take decades.

On the other hand, Lamictal’s dark side will put you in the burn unit…or the grave.  Right quick.

It’s a terrible choice to have to make: my sanity or my life!  There’s no percentage in trying to gamble with Lamictal, once these mucous membrane lesions appear.  There’s no guarantee that a break from the drug will fix the problem.  For me, this is the red line.  No more.

So what am I gonna do now?

Well, I’ve increased my lithium dose.  That means I have to be incredibly careful in this heat, because lithium can become toxic via dehydration.  And since lithium has a diuretic effect, that makes it even harder to stay hydrated.

I’m making plans to move to somewhere cooler after the end of the month, when I have my hand surgery recheck.  Oregon is sounding good to me….

And yes, my medical cannabis is once more doing yeoman’s duty.  I read an abstract of a study that looked at using CBD to treat psychosis.  Holy crap, the stuff holds up alongside conventional antipsychotics, with absolutely zero side effects!  I’m on that bus.

Palestinians children pretend to execute Israeli soldier | Daily Mail Online

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4304924/A-sick-new-low-foreign-aid.html#ixzz4bBZjzdyR

Want your eyes to bug right out of your head?  Just for fun, read this article.  You’ll get an eye-opener, all right.  I have to giggle a bit at the outrage of righteous Brits, discovering that their millions of pounds are being used to glorify terrorists and terrorism.  Brits who under the best of circumstances have a hard time deviating from the straight-laced upfront meat-and-potatoes, bless them.  The very idea that British charity should be used to pay non-existent public servants, to put on school plays about how to execute Israeli soldiers!

Well, at least the American Reform Judaism people aren’t falling for that!  Nope.  I hear that an extended, ecstatic Kumbaya session resulted from Rabbi Rick’s goodwill mission to Ramallah.  Hope he’s not a vegetarian.  I hear Abu Mazen throws a mean kebab party!  Make mine limonana, I’m not drinking today.

The Road To Hell

….is paved with bright lights and dim bulbs.

When Retirement Comes With a Daily Dose of Cannabis | Patients for Medical Cannabis

https://patients4medicalmarijuana.wordpress.com/2017/03/11/when-retirement-comes-with-a-daily-dose-of-cannabis/

Night on the Rack

Sleep is supposed to be restorative, or so we are taught.

Last night proved anything but.  I lost count of the awakenings occasioned by the loud complaints of various joints and their wounds. 

At 0230 I arose and rummaged through my bandage box, half asleep but unable to finish the job because of the excruciating hypersensitivity of the skin overlying the destruction in my wrist.  It feels like a remake of the RSD from 30 years ago…can that be?  I don’t know, but it is so stupidly sensitive that the mere touch of my well-padded wrist brace feels like liquid fire.  That’s what RSD feels like.

In between excursions to the bathroom and to the bandage box for a piece of biogel to put over my wrist bone, my night was spent in my mind’s idea of a torture chamber.

The scene:  I am conscious that I have been brought to this torture chamber to be “interrogated.”  I have no idea why.  The torturer is probing my mind for vulnerabilities.  At the same time, I am probing my mind for strengths and strategies for survival of what looks to be a prolonged ordeal.  I have no facts to give up, no-one to betray except my own autonomy.  

For that’s what’s at stake, isn’t it?  That’s the thing we, or I for one, most fear losing: autonomy, self-determination.  Aside from mobility and self-expression, that’s what I stand to lose from prolonged torture.

He is sizing me up.  He’s making pleasantries.  I play along, playing for time.  I know he knows that’s what I’m doing.  “Just doing his job,” that’s all.  I ask about his family.  He laughs.  

He wants to know which kind of pain I fear most.  What??  Does he think I’m actually going to answer that…correctly?  Surely, if I say “burning,” he’s going to burn me?!  But wait, if I say “burning,” he’ll know that I’m trying to deflect…no. I’ll say “all kinds.”  I fear all kinds of pain!

He laughs again.

Maybe, he muses, what we need to do, in order to properly sort this, is to try…a sampler.  That way we can explore a variety of stimuli, to see what works best for you.  Pain is such an individual thing, you know…

I’m awake again.  The sky is growing faintly pale.  I decide to get up and enjoy the coolth of the dawn morning.  It’s going to be another blazing day in Paradise.

FROM RUSSIA, WITH…

http://www.vox.com/conversations/2017/2/22/14697718/donald-trump-putin-russia-kremlin-hillary-clinton

I know I’m naive.  And I know my mind likes to take things apart into itty bitty bits, in the hope of making sense out of sensory input.

The New Regime has had my poor head spinning around on its stalk faster and faster, till all I can do is cry out in agony, “Ghost of Ronnie Raygun, please dazzle some yea or nay into this Doublespeak word salad!”

And so it was that I found the above article.  The light has been dazzled, and now I’m afraid to hit “PUBLISH.”  It’s worse than I thought.